Catfish Victims are Exceptionally Caring People

You are a very accepting, caring and trusting person. The truth is that if you have been Catfished like I was, it’s likely that you possess all of these qualities. Although I knew this about myself, it took me a long time to truly believe it after discovering I had been Catfished. These are all great character traits and our relationships in life are one of the most important things.

So why is it that accepting individuals are often the ones who fall victim to a Catfish? To be in any relationship you need to be able to get along with someone despite their flaws – and believe me, everyone has flaws. Maybe the person you are connecting with is confrontational, not very expressive or lacking in empathy. Of course, there could be many other examples, but these are just the ones that immediately come to mind. The point is that you have the patience and fortitude needed to take on the other person’s challenges despite not being able to physically see them. You are open to meeting new people and have welcomed someone into your life without knowing everything about them. A risk that may not have paid off, but one that is certainly required to live a life of no regret.

It’s likely that you are also a very caring person. In almost every Catfish scenario I’ve heard of there is at least one sob story or excuse given as to why you cannot physically meet. Your Catfish might have body image issues and not like going out in public. They could be taking a trip out of state for a funeral. They may need some money to cover living expenses due that month. The fact of the matter is that you cannot be the victim of a Catfish without showing at least some level of compassion for that person’s predicament.

In any relationship trust is a must. Unfortunately, for Catfish victims this can take a major toll on your heart and, in some instances, your bank account. As a victim you have probably given your perpetrator the benefit of the doubt on more than one occasion. Maybe they told you they were going to move into your town soon and you never felt the need to ask them for proof. Maybe they asked you for money so they could pay rent and promised to pay you back. Perhaps they sent you a false government identification or lied about their job. You must understand that the only mistake you made was being open, honest and transparent with someone who wasn’t willing to reciprocate. It’s important to remember this is out of your control.

You may feel like a fool after being Catfished. Heck, I know that I certainly did. But the key comes in understanding who the fool really was at the end of the day. As the victim you were accepting, caring and trustworthy whereas they were not. And this is something they will have to live with for the rest of their life. Finally, as you do some self-reflecting you will eventually come to realize that you deserve so much better. Note in my first blog, I mentioned “I respected her feelings” a few times. Somewhere in my mind, I felt like it was okay to compromise what was important to me (seeing Hayley). While that is a part of every relationship, it’s clear to me now that I was putting her needs above mine. In a healthy relationship, you must understand that you have an equal voice.